Monday, 30 May 2016

Quarter life crisis



I haven't really put this out there much but I feel I should.
I'm scared.
Uncertainty, blankness, discouragement
swirling around my mind like layers of child scribbles on a sheet of a paper
once full of prospect and creative freedom
now nonsensical. A mess
'I was jealous of friends getting into postgraduate courses, lingering in their student life, buying time, postponing their entrance into the real world'


With a year to go, reality's upon me
slapping me around the face, making fun, causing me to feel like crap
We shouldn't live in regret or dwell on the past
but still I constantly question what if? what if?
because I feel like what I'm doing is wrong
'trying to navigate through the education system and basically not knowing which direction anything is going, let alone yourself'

It all seemed so simple
living with the fantasy that things would come as easily as sliding over a rainbow
to the gold at the end
but I'm forever staring at rainbows
and when I feel like I know who I am, what I want to do, setbacks come
'I think I've already realised the person I want to be and it's liberating but also leaves you thinking 'what the fuck do I do with my life?'

I feel guilty that the money that I spend is not my own
that I'm doing a degree that I feel isn't worth it
that my family look down on me with concern and disgust
and although they never show it outright, or say it to me, I know what they're thinking 
when is she going to grow up?
'if there's one thing worth being obsessive over it's your finances'

I understand that I need to get out there and gain experience
but I also need money
money that's harder to attain than I always expected
then there's the doubt and the aforementioned questioning 
as I live with the mentality of a confused teenager
'up until graduating, all I wanted was  to be a grown up. Now that I have managed, somehow, to climb the steps up to the adult-life floor, I despise it'

I'm aware that this sounds depressing and it's just a stage
reality takes over, regret takes over, society takes over
but things can get better, I can make things better
still I fear that in a year I'll be left abandoned in the lonely world of full grown adulthood
where preparation should have been made sooner
'The pressures to succeed emotionally, physically and financially in a ridiculously short span of time are outweighing the real root of 'happiness'' The end.


Quotes taken from Issue 3 of Girls Club zine, Quarter Life Crisis

Saturday, 28 May 2016

I knitted a t-shirt


I knitted a t-shirt inspired by the sea and wore it while running on sand and wondering across rocks.

Captured not very clearly on a phone camera 

coated with sea air


I customised a headband. And then wore it while on the beaches of Sitges and while drinking smoothies from a market off La Rambla. Now it's coated with beachy Spanish air and the odd bit of a sand and I can carry this with me as I wear the headband through the dull streets of England. 

Wednesday, 25 May 2016

Roland Garros kit watch


Fashion and tennis have always gone hand in hand, especially in the context of other sports. At this year's French Open, everyday items have been encorporated into the kits, making the fashion and tennis combination even more prominent.
Alize Lim wore a blue dungaree-look playsuit, designed herself for Le Coq Sportif, layered over a strapless white bra and Adidas' zebra stripes, when in the form of the top and black skirt, came with suspenders. (Worn by Simona Halep and Angelique Kerber)

My initial thoughts were I really really love dungarees and suspenders but they're not made for the tennis court and, while this is still the case for the Adidias kit, the more I look at Alize's the more I kind of like it.

The sport allows individuality to be presented on court, both through the player's game and their appearance. A notable example of this is dialogue between British player Angela Mortimer and press in 1958(?)

When asked if designer Teddy Tinling was behind her clothes:
'No' she told them. 'Teddy doesn't approve of shorts'
'Why don't you wear dresses?'
'Because they don't suit my tennis character'
(White Ladies, Teddy Tinling)

Nowadays the outfits are homogenised and controlled by brands and therefore not always reflective. That makes Alize's refreshing. Playsuits are very much her thing (she designed her first one with Le Coq Sportif at the 2015 French Open) so replicating a pair of dungarees, in this sense, is only natural.



Friday, 13 May 2016

Missoni.


When I think of Missoni, I think of summer days on the Riviera, hair in a topknot with a crochet-knitheadband, something long and floaty covering tanned skin. I think of night time in a plush apartment and walking into the living room after a deep bubble bath, vertical zig zag dressing gown hugging the body, before curling up on a sofa lit with cushions in pastel tones.

As somebody who is drawn to stripes and colourful knitwear, I'm naturally intrigued by all things Missoni. But, whereas before I just saw the trademark chevron stripes and light knits(when not in some luxurious fantasy like above), the Missoni Art Colour exhibition at the Fashion and Textile Museum shows the creativity and artistic references that were/are fundamental in forming the prints.

It begins in twentieth-century Europe with artists such as Sonia Delaunay, Giacomo Balla and Gino Severini, whose abstract and futurist work served as inspiration for Ottavio and Rosita, Missoni's founders. Throughout the exhibition, Ottavio's work, such as acrylic painted stripes on white and black backgrounds, are framed and hung amongst that of relative artists (For example, the 1937 hypnotic 'Politipo l'immaginazione crea' by Alberto Biasi- a blue wooden board layered with green polythene ribbons that vertically move in an optical illusion)

There's an insight into how design work can be applied to different forms and how fashion and art intermingle flawlessly,  the right hand wall in the main area filled with Ottavio's knitted patchwork wall hangings. The patchworks are kaleidoscopic, a combination of zig zags and rotated squares in purples, pink, greens and browns. Ottavio is quoted as saying "both 'colour' and 'material' are the elements essential to my craft. As for my patchworks, they are a natural extension of my work, of the pleasure I get from playing with little pieces of multicolour knit fabrics where each single one deserves particular attention since it has a story and life of its own." Maybe that's what's particular engaging about Missoni products. The way that the same distinctive style is reapplied but the variety of colours means new associations and feelings are conjured up.

Overall,  knitwear is put into context with Modern art and this I particular enjoy. It can be an art form, not just a type of clothing produced for the sake of being clothing, and Missoni's heritage has demonstrated this.



Sunday, 8 May 2016

Feels like summer


When the temperatures rise in the UK, most people go wild. Woohoooo more reasons to talk about the weather they think. And Ahh! Aren't we being spoilt! they say. As for me, I'm like FINALLY. Because life is so much more comfortable when without a jacket, legs uncovered and inhaling the scents of summer.

Here is a playlist to compliment the mood


FLORIDADA ~ ANIMAL COLLECTIVE
NARWHAL ~ XYLAROO
GREEN GRASS ~ JOANA SERRAT
BRIGHTEST LIGHTS ~ KING CHARLES FT. MUMFORD & SONS
THE DIFFERENCE IN THE SHADES ~ BRIGHT EYES
WE ARE FREE ~ JAY JAY PISTOLET
FROM THIS VALLEY ~ THE CIVIL WARS
GIANT ~ VAMPIRE WEEKEND
VAN LEAR ROSE ~ LORETTA LYNN
NEXT TIME AROUND ~ LITTLE JOY
I MET UP WITH THE KING ~ FIRST AID KIT
ELEPHANT GUN ~ BEIRUT

Friday, 29 April 2016

More than mean. More than absurd

Go kill yourself. Or at least go back in the kitchen where you belong. Why? Because you're a woman and don't belong here, c***

Women writing and reporting on sport shouldn't be an issue. There aren't any distinct male qualities required to do so, the only segregation comes from the cultural stereotypes that surround sport. Stereotypes that should not still exist.

It begins when young, in the birthday cards targeted at boys with footballs on them, and stems from mainstream media's coverage of sports which is sporadically female. It continues through the lives of closed-minded males who believe wholeheartedly that sport is a guys thing and therefore any opinion or involvement a female has is uninformed and ridiculous. Granted, those that hold these views are not overruling. There are so many successful, talented female sports writers and mostly it doesn't matter what gender is behind the words and thoughts- As long as what's being told is interesting, surely that's all that matters.

But still things are being said. While the motives behind the abuse is sad (It's as though the men are a part of an immature club that strictly forbids females. When they enter it, they hurtle the first handful of insults that come into their dumb minds regardless of their meaning and regardless of the harm they will cause), what's being directed at them is disturbing.

Writers Sarah Spain (ESPN) and Julie DiCaro (Sports Illustrated amongst others) partook in a video, launching the hashtag #MoreIsMean,  whereby males read them offensive tweets that had been directed towards them. Note: These men had not written the tweets or ever seen them. 


THIS IS WHY WE DON'T HIRE FEMALES UNLESS WE NEED OUR COCK'S SUCKED AND FOOD COOKED

ONE OF THE PLAYERS SHOULD BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH THEIR HOCKEY STICK LIKE THE WHORE YOU ARE CUNT
YOU'RE A SELF-IMPORTANT KNOW IT ALL CUNT
YOU NEED TO BE HIT ON THE HEAD WITH A HOCKEY STICK AND KILLED
I HOPE YOUR DOG GETS HIT BY A CAR CUNT
YOU'RE A BITCH I WOULD HATE FUCK
I HOPE YOU GET RAPED AGAIN
HOPEFULLY THIS SKANK IS BILL COSBY'S NEXT VICTIM- THAT WOULD BE CLASSIC
WHY BRING UP YOUR OWN RAPE WITH THIS STORY? IS IT YOUR WAY OF FIRING BACK AT CRITICS WHO SAID YOU CAN'T GET ANY?
I HOPE YOUR BOYRFRIEND BEATS YOU


They are remarks that shouldn't be spat at anybody. Like 'I hope your boyfriend beats you'. What? and 'I hope you get raped again.' Really? Why would you ever wish that on somebody? They are also things that are less likely to come out in person but because it's online, the sender feels invincible, their identity disguised. That's wrong. Just because it hasn't been said in person, doesn't mean there shouldn't be a punishment for it. Ok, it's challenging but thankfully the #MoreThanMean video (put together by Just Not Sports) has brought the issue to prominent light.

Those sending the tweets do so with the hope that their single words will cause hurt and distress (Although why people want to be associated as a bully/ troll is baffling) but the recipient is stronger than they think, especially in this context. To quote Julie in an article she wrote for The Cauldron
'We have as much right to the arena of sports as men do. And we aren’t going anywhere.

Don’t tell us to find a different career, to get a thicker skin, or to ignore the trolls. You have no idea how much we ignore. We already ignore mountains of garbage, threats and innuendo each and every day. When you see us get upset over a seemingly tame insult, it’s likely because we’ve already been attacked dozens of times that day. That tweet, the one that seems so harmless, was probably just a bridge too far.

The reality is that we wouldn’t be in the industry without an unusually thick skin. The thin-skinned fell by the wayside a long time ago. We didn’t get where we are in the industry by being shrinking violets. '

People like Julie and Sarah haven't done or said anything to encourage harassment. They are not being controversial or confrontational online. It's just purely because they are women. Women talking about sport. THAT'S NOT A GOOD ENOUGH REASON.

(I wish I could conclude this with some clever response as to what I think should be done- How people should stop treating rape as though it's a joke, how people should stop with sexism, how people should just BE NICE- But I don't know how. So I've written this purely to make you aware of #MoreThanMean if you weren't already because it made me really angry)